Knock, Knock, Knocking on Heaven's Door
by Captain Silence
Summary: Clarke walks away from Camp Jaha. Bellamy realizes he can't let her.


**A/N: I've just finished watching this show and holy god, I am in love. Bellarke for the win! 3 I know nobody who watches this, so I watched about 20 million fan videos before finally sitting down and writing this. I have no idea if this was in character for either Clarke or Bellamy but c'mon. I can't be the only who wanted a scene like this! Please tell me what you think!**

 **As always, these characters are not mind! Please read and review!**

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 _ **Knock, Knock, Knocking on Heaven's Door**_

She watched Monty walk into the camp. He'd known she wouldn't be coming with them. He'd just hugged her, wrapping his arms around her and held her. She would miss him. She hoped they met again.

"I think we deserve a drink," said Bellamy, walking to her side. Something told her that he knew too.

Clarke felt her eyes misting over and she swallowed. She looked down at the ground and then picked her head back up. She looked at him. "Have one for me," she requested softly.

Bellamy words didn't do much to help her. "Hey, we'll get through this." She'd made up her mind.

"I'm not going in."

"If you need forgiveness," said Bellamy and Clarke was reminded of the time she said the same words to him. "I'll give that to you." His eyes begged her to stay. " _You're forgiven_." Her eyes misted and she blinked, swallowing hard. "Please, come inside."

They'd come so far. From hating each to not wanting the other to go. She looked into the camp and watched as Jackson helped her mother, Kane a vigilant soldier at Abby's side. She saw Miller and his father embrace. She saw Monty make a step towards Jasper and then stop. She saw Wick carrying Raven to medical. She saw the faces of the people she had saved and in those faces she saw the faces of the people she'd killed. She looked at Bellamy. "Take care of them for me," she said with finality. Something broke on his face.

"Clarke-"

"No," she shook her head, "seeing their faces everyday is just going to remind me of what I did to get them here." She couldn't live with that in front of her. She didn't even know if she could live with it when they weren't a constant reminder.

"What _we_ did," corrected Bellamy, trying his hardest to get her to stay. "You don't have to do this alone."

She looked back at her people. At her mother. "I bear it, so they don't have to," she murmured. She didn't know who she was trying to convince. Herself or Bellamy.

He looked like he wanted to plead with her again. Instead he breathed out, "Where are you going to go?"

She thought about joining Lexa, but she didn't know if she could face the Grounder commander either. "I don't know," she replied, the truth of the words hitting harder than they were meant to. She leaned in, wrapping an arm around him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Laying her head into the crook of her neck she said what she needed to say:

" _May we meet again._ "

The words were smoke against her lips. A part of her couldn't stand to go, but the bigger part couldn't stand to stay. Tears threatened and she begged herself not to cry. She wasn't going to cry until she was miles away, until she was far enough away that she couldn't turn back. She leaned her face into Bellamy's shoulder, feeding off his strength. She felt his arms securely around her and she didn't want to leave them. When the threatening tears became too much, she pulled back and he removed his head from her shoulder, looking at her like he wanted to say something.

She didn't give him the chance. She looked down and then turned, walking away. She waited, waited to hear the same smoke leave his lips. But it didn't. She bit her lip. And then she heard the footsteps behind her.

"Clarke! Wait!"

She started walking faster, her throat constricting. Then Bellamy grabbed her arm and pulled her around and before she had time to protest, his lips were on hers and his hands were on her cheeks. Her eyes widened sharply before fluttering closed. Her body melted against his, her arms rising mechanically and wrapping around him. Tears trickled down her face, sliding across her lips and into the kiss. But Bellamy didn't seem to mind. If anything his arms tightened around her and his thumb moved to brush away her tears.

When they broke apart, her head was against his. "Please," breathed Bellamy, the word hovering in the shared air between them, " _I_ can't do this without you." She wanted to step away, to continue walking in the other direction, but there was Bellamy, his arms around her and his heart laid bare.

"Okay…" her lips trembled with the word. Bellamy stepped back and clasped her hand in his.

He looked into her eyes, his honest. "You won't be alone." She swallowed and nodded and she allowed him to lead her into the camp. His eyes never left hers, and if they had she might have lost her nerve. She'd dealt with demons before. She'd dealt with Finn's memory, and she'd gotten through it alone. Her hold on Bellamy's hand tightened. She could deal with the demons of hundreds of people with Bellamy at her side.


End file.
